The monk Moses (who had been a thief and probably a murderer before his conversion)
was very discouraged at how slow his spiritual progress was.
One night, Abba Isidore took him up on the roof of a tall building and the two men sat down, waiting for sunrise. Eventually, light began to form on the dark horizon. Later the sun rose and the fullness of the day came upon them.
Smiling, Abba Isidore said to brother Moses "only slowly do the rays of the sun drive away the night and usher in a new day, and thus, only slowly does one become a perfect contemplative."
Please be patient with yourself when you become aware of areas in your life that are not perfect yet. The Son is rising in your life, and with each passing hour, He is filling you with Holy Light, and dispelling the darkness.
If you can not trust yourself, then trust the Light that is filling you, driving out the darkness. Your brother and servant...
Jim "Butch" Murphy
Vera Cruz Communications